Starting School: Helping Children Adapt and Thrive
Starting school is a big transition - for children and parents. New routines, new expectations, unfamiliar faces and environments… it’s a lot, even for confident kids.
Over summer, we often see children thriving in more flexible days: barefoot play, slower mornings, movement, creativity, and connection. When school begins, that rhythm shifts quickly - and some wobble is completely normal.
The goal isn’t for children to “just cope.” It’s for them to feel safe, supported, and ready to learn.
Here are a few ways you can help your child adapt and thrive as they start school:
1. Focus on regulation before readiness
A regulated child can listen, learn, and connect. Prioritise sleep, movement, outdoor play, and calm connection time before and after school. These are not extras, they’re foundations.
2. Practise practical school skills
Many school-day challenges are practical rather than academic. Practising things like packing and unpacking a school bag, opening lunch boxes and drink bottles, managing jumpers or hats, and tying shoelaces can reduce stress and build independence. When these tasks feel familiar, and become muscle memory, children have more energy for learning and play.
3. Practise the social side of school
Social skills grow through experience, not pressure. Playdates, turn-taking games, role-playing classroom scenarios, and talking through “what if” moments can build confidence gently. Build loosing and winning graciously into game playing, reinforcing its about the fun we have as we play, with less emphasis on the outcome. Encouraging use of phrases like “maybe next time you might win” or “good game”, and helping to pack up is also part of the game process.
4. Keep routines predictable (but flexible)
Simple, consistent routines help children feel secure. Visual schedules, predictable mornings, and calm transitions make a big difference - especially for anxious or neurodivergent children.
5. Normalise big feelings
Starting school can bring excitement and worry. Let your child know it’s okay to feel nervous, unsure, or tired. Naming feelings helps children move through them rather than hold them in. Reinforcing we can feel several (sometimes conflicting) feelings at the same time, eg nervous, shy, excited, hopeful, is how humans are designed. There are no bad emotions.
6. Build skills through play
Things like crossing the midline, core strength, hand strength and coordination all support classroom success — and they’re best developed through play, not worksheets. Climb trees, push Lego pieces together, thread beads, create chubby chalk drawings on the paved driveway… these are all key childhood activities to build school readiness.
7. Trust the adjustment period
Many children need time to settle. Changes in behaviour, fatigue, or emotional meltdowns after school are common during the early weeks. This is communication, not misbehaviour. Pairing back after school activities in Term 1, is particularly important when starting primary or secondary school for the first time. This is when the learning curve and cognitive load is at its highest in terms of coming back to formal education after the holiday break. The more we can reduce demands and stretching capacity for our children, the better opportunity they have to adjust.
If you’re noticing ongoing challenges with transitions, emotions, or participation, occupational therapy support can help identify what’s going on beneath the surface and support your child in a strengths-based way.
Starting school is a journey — not a race. With the right support, children don’t just adapt… they grow, connect, and thrive 🌱
—
Tricia Lerk
Paediatric Occupational Therapist
Director, Planted Parenting 🌱